No, really, take your time....

I don't have anywhere to go. I'm just sitting in my car, waiting in the line for you to figure out how to use the parking machine. But go ahead. Take 10 minutes to figure out how to put the little piece of paper that you got when you ENTERED into the machine. I understand. Really, I do.

There is this little group of restaurants near USC. I use the term restaurants loosely, because it's really just fast food, but at this point in my life I'm holding onto non-dining hall food for dear life. In typical Los Angeles fashion, there is a definite lack of parking. There's a small parking structure under the apartment building that these restaurants are attached to that offers 45 minutes free with validation. So that's where we always head and it's a pretty good deal. (Although the whole paying for parking thing is a general frustration. But we'll save that for another day.)

Pretty straightforward right? You enter, take a ticket, go about your business (remember to get validation!), and then exit. However, I've noticed something odd the last few times we've been leaving. For some reason, we get stuck behind people that cannot figure this process out. For whatever reason (my guess is stupidity), they sit at the arm, seeming to expect it to go up without any action from them. Or they put the ticket in and THEN realize that they needed validation ($12.50 for parking?! That can't be right...what do we need to do to make it less? Let's just run into the building and get the validation right now....nevermind all those people waiting behind us!)

I've even had a couple of people start backing up when the arm doesn't go up for them. Just put their car in reverse and start going back, without signaling out the window or anything. Everyone will move for them, because after all, they're important! This leaves everyone further back in the growing car line very confused. After all, why would you reverse back into the parking lot when you're trying to leave?

It's an increasingly frustrating situation that I've encountered. One that I am anxious to leave behind when I venture out of school in a week. Because really, what does it say about the students who attend this university if 1 in 4 people can't work a parking lot pay machine?

Weird Mood

I'm in a weird mood. It might be because it's my last week of classes. Ever. Or it might be because I ate dinner and am still somewhat hungry. Hm.

Interview Adventures

So the other day I had an interview in the morning. No big deal - 9 am isn't that early! I got up a little earlier than usual and was getting ready, had a few extra minutes before I was planning on leaving (eg, 30 min) and decided to print the directions. I open the email up and scan it, noticing that it says to arrive by 8:15 am. I look at the clock on my computer: 7:30. AGH!

I made it from downtown LA to El Segundo by 8:13 am. In rush hour traffic. It's probably some of the worst, "typical-LA" driving that I have ever done and it's something that I feel guilty about. But I made the inteview and I thought that it went well, so c'est la vie.

The guy asked me if I had any other interviews coming up; I told him that I sincerely hoped that this was my last week of interviews. It's strange: my plan at the start of the semester was to look for jobs for about a month, have a few offers by Thanksgiving, and make a decision by Dec. 1. At this point I was assuming that something would come from JPL and as long as Matt was staying in LA I would just take that and continue along my merry way. I suppose we all know what they say about the best-laid plans...

I have my third interview with a company tomorrow morning at 10 am (yes, I checked the time!) - wish me luck!

Job offers so far:

Northrop Grumman (Palmdale)
GE Security (Costa Mesa)
Whirlpool (St. Joe, Michigan)
Raytheon (El Segundo)
Hamilton Sunstrand (Hartford, CT)

And a verbal "we're going to give you an offer" from Aerospace.

What am I going to do?

Weekender

So tonight was the Weekender, the annual trek of USC folks up to Northern California to watch our Trojans take on either the Stanford Trees or the California Bears (Side note: who gave them the right to go by the nickname California? Like they're the only university in the state? I think there are hundreds of other colleges and universities that would like nothing more than for Berkeley to start being called Berkeley. Because really, that's their name.)

We've now successfully trounced Cal every year I've been at USC, save for the pretty awesome game my first year in which we lost in triple overtime. That was a crazy good game. Like the LSU-Kentucky game this year, but way more stressful because my team was playing.

It was pouring down rain in Berkeley tonight though. And I know that there are going to be several of my friends who come home tomorrow and develop colds. Because they spent all day wandering about San Francisco in the rain and then several hours sitting in the rain during the game. Having been fighting off what appears to be a nasty sinus infection for the last week myself...I'd like to stay as far away from the sickies as possible. So I'm going to travel across the country!

Haha...not really. I'm travelling for more interviews. I have to say, when I finally do sign an offer, my first purchase is going to be a half-day spa treatment for myself. Because really...after all of this, I deserve a massage. That is, of course, assuming that Matt doesn't have me on the way to the travel agent's office before the ink is dry.

I Can Has Cheezburger

This site has some of the funniest pictures on the web. Seriously, they will make you laugh (or at least smile!) even during the hardest day.

Nashville Nonsense

In yet another attempt to avoid doing homework or study (why don't I just go to bed, you ask? too easy), I have a few observations from my recent trip to Nashville, TN.

There are live bands there. Really, there was a live band in every bar down the street (we walked past) and it was around 3pm! So very different from LA, and very much more enjoyable.

All downtowns look pretty much the same. At least at these conferences...or maybe I just think Kansas City and Nashville look similar. Cold, gray, concrete, and somewhat deserted.

How many interviews can a person squeeze into their day? I'm not sure what the record is, but I'm pretty sure I was trying to reach it...6 interviews last Thursday. I about died when I got back to our hotel room that night, but went and had 4 on Friday. Too bad most of the jobs they were hiring for are no where near Matt.

Bedtime.

Moments before Midterms

There are two different moments that I'm talking about here: the moments leading up to a midterm, where you're either madly rushing to cram as much information into your head and onto your crib sheet as possible, and the moments leading up to getting a midterm back from your professor and seeing how you did in comparison to the curve.

I'm experiencing both at the moment (hah!). I get a midterm back in about 30 minutes, and I take a midterm in about 2 hours. This being my third, and final, midterm of the semester, I have given up on the last minute studying and have instead spent several minutes in random click-age of facebook. Because, quite honestly, I can't bring myself to care to study for another minute.

How different than my undergrad years, when I would have 5-6 classes and 2 midterms in each class! I seemed to always be up for studying for each of those, diligently staying up all night if it was needed to learn as much as I could to beat the curve. Somewhere between there and here I must have decided that it is not worth it. It is not worth the absolute misery that comes from pulling an all-nighter. It is not worth the headaches and backaches and neckaches that inevitably arise from being hunched over a book and papers for hours on end. It's just....not worth it. If I don't know the information at this point, then I don't know if I ever will.

I think being a grad student has made me lazier. 3 classes and two jobs and I whine about not wanting to do anything...so very different from undergrad!

Grad School...blah

I wish someone had told me how much grad school is NOT like undergrad.

I wish someone had told me that I would be happy to finish 1/2 of a homework assignment...and get 1/2 of the point for those problems.

I wish someone had told me how much I would hate listening to lectures online. And how much the knowledge that those lectures exist online would make me not want to be in lecture.

I wish someone had told me that it's not worth it at first...because what you think you're interested in enough to take in grad school will quickly become what you hate the most.

Do You Know...

1. The worst pickup line I've ever heard...

The worst pickup lines are those dealing with math. At the engineering date auction at school these are always chosen as the "favorite" pickup lines of engineers who embrace their nerdiness. If you Google "Math Pick Up lines" you'll see what I mean and how bad it can really get. For example, there are a lot of pick up lines involving derivatives or integrals... And then there was one that was used on me: "I know heat transfer". It's strange to think that anyone uses such lines, but they're real.

2. If I only had 24 hours to live, I would...

Wake up early enough to watch the sunrise on a mountain top. Eat a delicious breakfast of Belgian waffles with pears and strawberries, then spend time in the middle of the day with my wonderful friends. I'd spend the afternoon and dinner hour with my family, expressing how much I love them and how grateful I am to have had their love and support for my entire life. I'd like to watch the sunset at the beach, then toast the evening and celebrate my life with champagne. I'd want to retire to a beautiful house or hotel on the beach with a whirlpool tub so I could take a relaxing, romantic bath surrounded by candlelight, then make love and fall asleep in the arms of the man I love to the sound of waves crashing on the beach.

Hah...not too specific or anything. ;)

3. My sexiest feature...

My eyes. I'm not sure if anyone would disagree with me, but I have to say that I think my eyes can be pretty cool looking, especially with the right eye makeup!

Rach takes on the Power Company!

Amanda and I got our electricity bill yesterday. It was slightly odd because our usage somehow doubled in the last month, despite our efforts to decrease the amount we use our gadgets that require electricity (including our computers, which as you can imagine, is asking a lot of two engineers). And we turned the AC "on" temperature to 80 degrees. Meaning that the apartment can get quite warm before the cool bliss of central air starts up, but we thought it was worth it to reduce our carbon footprint.

I called the power company this morning and they're sending someone out to re-read the meter "within 3-5 days." We'll see what happens - I'll keep you updated.

Do You Know...

1. I sometimes annoy my friends and loved ones by...
Being slightly OCD/anal retentive. Of course, that's how they refer to it. I generally regard it as being super organized when it comes to planning things. This usually comes in the form of making lists. I am a master list-maker. To-do lists, movie lists, travel lists, packing lists, grocery lists, etc. The list goes on and on (hah!). I also become slightly "erratic" when I lose things....tearing everything up and putting it back together slightly more organized than before until I find what was lost. And until I find it, I obsess. This appears to annoy people a bit. :)

2. If I could be best pals with a celebrity, I would pick...
Jodie Foster. Dr. Arroway in Contact has probably been my favorite of her roles.

3. When I am sad I...
Get really quiet. I tend to want to be around people more because I'm trying to snap myself back into being happy or at least content, but I'm generally just observing the crowd rather than participating when I'm sad. I also cry a little I guess...but the crying is often pretty random and comes out of nowhere. The first time Matt saw me cry was when I was feeling really sad and stressed out about starting grad school. We were just sitting on his couch watching TV and I was suddenly balling - and couldn't for the life of me explain why! He handled it well, in my opinion, although he swears that he was freaking out. Crying is an excellent catharsis when everything is overwhelming.

Do You Know...

Over the next few posts I'm going to answer a series of questions about myself...feel free to answer these questions yourself - I'd love to get to know you better!

1. Walking into a coffee shop, I would order...
Usually a Chai tea. If I needed the caffeine, a small vanilla latte. But I probably wouldn't finish it. If it's the Tutor Cafe at school, a Tutor Freeze.

2. The one New Year's resolution I can never keep...
Thus far in life I've not been very good about making new year's resolutions, let alone keeping them. But it would probably be something about getting my life organized. I start out the year with the best of intentions, but I get to my first set of midterms and things go haywire: papers all over the apartment, dishes that move from the sink to the dish drainer back to the sink, empty water bottles scattered over the coffee table, my desk and the kitchen counters. And when it comes time to move out of the apartment? Fuh-get-about-it. My organization system makes sense to me and me alone.

3. Three things I'd like to have for Christmas this year...
A new camera lens. Scuba lessons in Australia. A cruise to Alaska. A good job for myself near M. A good job for M near me. A nice apartment, preferably near the beach. A Tiffany's starfish necklace.
Yes, that was more than three. But I figured I'd list them because, let's face it, the chances of getting any of the above are pretty slim.

An Out of Water Experience

We went out last night. And by we I mean a group that includes people from work and their significant others. Of course, my s.o. is in Minn. right now, but he was there via phone for a portion of the evening. Thank goodness for engineering marvels such as the cell phone. Where would we be without them?

Going out last night made me feel quite like a fish out of water and has inspired me to create a series of posts on the "out of water experience(s)" I have.

I've found that each bar or club I've been in has it's own atmosphere, a certain characteristic that makes it unique and draws a crowd of like-minded people. Now I should say here that I'm no expert on bars or clubs, but I feel that the smattering of places I've been create a diverse sample from which to speak.

The bar we were at last night was on the beach and definitely drew the late 20s to late 30s crowd (with a few outlying ages thrown in for good measure). These were the people holding on to the last bastions of their youth, reveling in their single-dom and "escape" from the real world responsibilities many of their peers have undertaken. I'm sure that a fair number of them were engineers - an assurance stemming from stereotypes certainly, but also from years of classes with the same type of people. Let's call it engineer-dar, for lack of a better word.

From the moment we walked in, I was overwhelmed with feeling as though I didn't belong, and certainly didn't fit in. It was like walking into a group of Lost Boys who wished they were back in college going to frat parties, living out a Peter Pan-like dream to never grow older than 21. The music was loud enough that my conversations were carried out as though I were vying for gold in the Olympic-level shouting competition, despite sitting outside on the patio area. Beer was spilled all over the floor (and my shoes) by guys trying to get lucky. A couple of girls were throwing up in the bar area. It made me wonder, why do people choose to do this night after night?

I guess I can understand it when you're an undergraduate in college, or in the general 18-22 age category. You are growing up, being allowed to sample from a menu of "adult" passtimes. You are away from the restrictions placed upon you by parents. I think that experiencing this growth period, the immaturity that comes from drinking until the world spins beneath your feet, is important. It teaches you limits and makes you figure things out for yourself. Like the fact that getting sick in a public restroom on your birthday is really not that much fun. Nor is feeling like everything in the world is coming at you from behind a thick cottonball-like haze.

For many of my younger friends, the bar scene holds an immeasurable appeal; mostly, I think, because they haven't yet spent a lot of time in it. It's an adventure they've so far been denied, either due to being underage themselves or due to being in a group of friends who are all turning 21 this summer. As soon as the last one of them turns 21 (in a few weeks), I suspect there will be even more bar time in my future - a thought that makes me inwardly cringe.

All in all, this beach bar was not my "scene," as noted by my roommate when I told her the story of my evening. Lately though, I've felt more and more like this when I go into bars or clubs, regardless of their atmosphere. Is this a sign of getting older? Or, as suggested by my roomie, a sign that I no longer have a need of the basic reason why bars exist: I have a s.o. I think I'll have to re-evaluate my feelings when Matt comes back to LA and we go out. That way I'll have a decision less affected by the emotional reelings of a long distance relationship.

p.s. How do you feel about bars that charge a cover to get in?

To the Moon! (Part II)

The thing with instrument choice is that it can change rapidly. You have a preliminary instrument list so you can come up with an idea about the amount of data you’re going to be dealing with (which can start the design of the C&DH and telecomm systems), but when you make a decision on the mission architecture, everything can change. But you have to start somewhere, and instruments are as good a place as any.

Mission architecture is one of the most exciting and challenging areas of systems engineering. How are you going to launch from Earth? This requires the choice of a launch vehicle, entirely dependent on the volume and mass of the payload your mission will be carrying. So…you can’t even begin to decide on this until after the rest of the mission design is nearly complete. Once you escape Earth’s gravitational pull, how do you get to where you want to go? This seems to involve complex math and a lot of turns to make use of gravity assists. Just to get to the moon there are different stages – where we will be releasing the rocket boosters from the launch vehicle, where we will be firing engines to push the payload into the correct path, where we will be entering the moon’s gravitational pull, where we will enter a parking orbit around the moon, where we will send the lander down to the surface.

Beyond that, the seemingly simple choice of an orbiter, lander, rover, return capsule can turn into a heated debate. You have to have an orbiter to communicate with Earth. But should you have a rover/lander or just a lander? The cost goes up, but your samples might not be as good. And when you launch the return capsule from the moon, should it dock with the orbiter and the orbiter come back to Earth (very Apollo-like), or should the return capsule launch from the moon and shoot straight back home? Again, trades with cost, risk, and complexity (probably just a combined term for dual increased risk and cost!).

We’re using a brand new technology for our rovers in this concept. All of the senior systems engineers we’ve talked to think we’re crazy for using it, but I’m of the opinion that if people aren’t willing to take risks and say that new technology should be utilized, it won’t ever be used – and this is true for everything from space systems to new software. Plus using this solves so many potential issues that may come up because of the unknown terrain and surface conditions. And if we function under the idea that the technological development for this particular robot is being funded by the manned space program….well, we have several fewer issues with the cost AND we can say that it’s proof of technology and demonstration of capability for future manned missions.

Once you have your mission architecture, you can rethink your instrumentation if needed. Otherwise, you start work on specific subsystems. Some become more challenging than others, but in general you have to consider the following:

Communications
Command and Data Handling (C&DH)
Attitude Control Systems (ACS)
Thermal
Power
Radiation
Structures
Propulsion

Slowly, every part comes together, each fitting snuggly against the last. It’s like putting together a dynamic jigsaw puzzle. The nice thing about this type of puzzle, though, is that you can shave off a little of the edge if it doesn’t fit perfectly!

I am really excited to see what our final product looks like. And it seems as though other people are too – I was asked yesterday evening if the team would be ready for “prime time.” Apparently this guy has a new senior level advisor or something that is going to be on Lab next week. And one of the associate directors of the Lab thought it would be a great idea to have us present to this third-highest level in the NASA hierarchy.

It’s an amazing opportunity. But let’s just say that my stress levels are about as high as they possibly could be right now. As M said yesterday, I should be living in my cube with a case of redbull, my computer, and a pillow.

To the Moon! (Part I)

NASA's Constellation Program aims to return a human to the moon by 2020. As part of my summer internship, I (along with 10 other summer interns) have been asked to conceptualize one of the first missions for this program: a sample return mission to the South Pole Aiken-Basin. Being the eldest on the team (quite a new experience for me!), I was nominated to be the study lead.

What's interesting about this process is that it is truly systems engineering and requires a lot of "outside of the box" thinking. Stuff they didn't teach me in school (perhaps more so because I didn't study astronautics than because it is not taught). Knowing how to start the project was probably the most difficult thing: what questions do you ask the experts so you can develop a mission architecture that is feasible, cost effective, and innovative?

As an engineer, I'm always surprised at how these space missions always come back to the science. For a nation so steeped in technological growth and development, we do a lot more to advance pure science than most people realize. If there is no scientific objective to the mission, no goal that will advance the knowledge base of the world's scientists, then you can forget it. NASA (or any other agency I imagine) is not going to fund a mission simply to test the newest communication error correcting code or information theory advancement.

So where do you start? With the science. What do scientists want to know about where you're going? What do they already think is happening in that area, and can you prove or disprove it with your mission? From these science objectives, requirements are developed. Requirements are the bread and butter of systems engineers. The mission shall...An engineer working in the science area of a mission quickly becomes a scientist, sometimes shooting for the moon (no pun intended!) with ideas about what the mission could accomplish. And we've hit the key word: could. What the mission could achieve is a far cry from what the mission can achieve when the budget and engineering constraints are taken into account. The goal is to accomplish the most relevant and important science while staying within the other mission boundaries. It seems almost an art, knowing what the best science is, and certainly that is something that is never taught in school.

Next comes the instrument choice. Fueled by research into heritage missions and instruments that have done similar work for scientists in the past, engineers tread a fine line between incorporating new technology and increasing the risk of the mission. Yes, that instrument may have worked on MSL, but isn't it overkill for the Moon? Remembering the different environmental constraints and considering the communication delays for the instruments also presents an interesting challenge for the systems engineer. This is where technological innovation begins to come into play -- instruments are nearly always re-invented to a certain degree as they are used from one mission to the next. And it's not just true for the instrumentation: spacecraft, subsystems, rovers, landers, etc - nearly everything is retooled to take advantage of advances in research for every mission that is sent out.

I'll continue with this topic tomorrow - it's been a several week process learning it, so I imagine it'll be a several hour process writing about it!

Gross Monotony

It is amazing to me how much wasted time is blindly accepted in a workplace. And it's not just wasted time, but obviously duplicated efforts. It's like the time and effort you put into any work you do is really not considered important - to a certain extent, you're not important.

I have spent one month learning a software tool, adjusting to its idiosyncrasies, picking up the fine art of interpreting the results and identification of clouds versus smoke vers fog, etc. I have been bored out of my mind at the tedious nature of it all - staring at the computer screen, feeling as though my right arm might fall off from excessive mouse usage. And for what? To be told today that there is yet another update to the software. And despite the developer's prior assurance, post-processing of the data is not possible. So the original estimate of having to redo about half of the work I'd already completed is inaccurate. What is more accurate? A complete revision of all of the work that I have done up until this morning's software update. Anything that I'd finished prior to this? Completely useless.

And all of this so scientists at Harvard can write their PhDs and publications, possibly never understanding what went into getting them this data. And we're still waiting for the 7 years of raw data for the remainder of the country.

My summer is stretching out in front of me like the vast Sahara desert with no oasis in sight.

Quick Thought

Paul Simms wrote an interesting article in the New Yorker today.

It reminded me a little of my roommate, who has come home from her different work assignments each week with a new crush: on one of the other interns, an associate, or - once - her new manager. And each week, the crush fades away as she hears him talk about his girlfriend, his wife, or new baby. There is always the same initial giddiness as she describes the new person to me, the same thoughtfulness as she wonders if he's interested in her as well. Then there is the sigh of acceptance when she tells me that yet another one is "already taken." Despite these disappointments, she persists in having these crushes week in and week out. It's amazing perseverance actually.

And yet, it makes me wonder. Why do her crushes rarely work out? Are all of the good ones really taken or should she spend more time looking around before falling into a crush?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Coming back to a company you've interned at before is a lot more comfortable than you'd initially imagine. You feel like you've changed so much in the last 8-9 months , so many things have happened in your life...and of course that must be the same with the people you worked with, the projects you focused on! Surely everything will be completely different, surely no one will remember me or the work that I did...right?

It's crazy to me how little things can change. How the same idea that was the priority a year ago is the priority now - despite the fact that you spent an entire summer working on it! Of course, it's not exactly the same. The format has changed. The technical aspect of accomplishing the task will be different. But essentially, at the very core of the work, it is identical to what you acomplished a year earlier. But! You scream inside. But! I'm different. Why am I doing the same things?!

Random things will stop you every so often. You know you mentioned a boyfriend last summer. So when you say "my boyfriend" this summer, how many people even consider that it might be (is!) a different person? Is it weird that within a year you've dated 2 different people?

The nice thing about coming back is getting thrown straight into work. Even if it is eerily similar to what you finished last summer. There's no more waiting. No HR session that lasts most of the day. No boss saying, "Why don't you go ahead and head home? There'll be plenty of time to get started tomorrow." Of course, there's still no computer. And for some reason, the tech guys don't understand that, no, you really can't remember the passwords you haven't used since last summer. They sent you emails telling you the passwords were expiring? Really. You weren't around, so can they please reset ALL of them so you can log in to the computer and read those emails? Only to have to call them 20 minutes later.

The more things change...the more they stay the same.

But first, an introduction

What's in a name? Matt was starting his blog a few weeks ago and asked for a suggestion for a name. My immediate thought was "Fish Out of Water," but I realized that was more appropriate for something that I would write. He may feel the same way sometimes, but I'm more of a fish. That left him searching for a blog name and me with a name but a distinct lack of creative thought as to what to do with it.

Having a name became a nagging issue - wasn't that supposed to be the hardest part? Was it only a stroke of good fortune? I'd been meaning to start writing again, at least for the short term, to exercise the right side of my brain. I don't delude myself into thinking that I have anything to say that many other people would care about, but maybe a few of my thoughts will interest some. And if not, at least it'll be a welcome distraction from the daily grind of engineering.

So the goals of this blog are simple: provide an outlet for any writing impulse I may have, a corner of the internet where I may talk about living and working and trying to sort out what it is my life is going to be. Adjust to the feeling of being a fish out of water or somehow work my way back to a pond.